Do my somali roots show my natural color?

NOTHING LESS THAN SCANDALOUS

call me a hypochondriac but i'm pretty sure I had swine flu today.
I was overcome by a sneezing attack as well as out of nowhere warmth all over my body.
On top of my recent travels. I really thought I was going to add
"the time i got swine flu" to my list of stories to tell at dinner parties.
I popped back some homeopathic medicine, ate some Indian food and BAM
I kicked that random virus like my name was Rambo.


Today was awesome. My cousin spoiled me( everyday is my birthday) and took me
to a fancy breakfast spot at a hotel where the ocean was our backdrop. I filled up my
plate as if it was my last breakfast ever. It was a buffet, so how could I resist. Towards the end
I thought I was about to give birth to a digested salmon and bagel/mini-chocolate muffins
baby. I would name it kAnYe. A random kitten was even kicking it there for a bit but it had to
leave for it's 11:00 massage.

We then drove home and the clockwork power outage went down. It's soo hot here that people pump the air conditioners which equates to POWER OUTAGE 2009.
We hit up the beach where I felt like Kate Bonsworth in Blue Crush, but sans one blue eye and one brown eye. I discovered the ocean with my trusty googles and a huge grin. It was cool to see the ground move as the waves came in. Every time I saw something move, I thought I was going to be the next contestant on Jaws but to my luck my big time appearance shot did not occour. I think I'm going to go surfing for my bday. WHY NOT? it's either that or bump elbows with the stars on St.Barts maybe my best-friend John Galliano will be vacaying there.
Me: Oh John! it's been so Long:
John: Ooh you have to came to Paris, darling.
Me: Well darling I would, but i vowed when the stopped the concord
I couldnt live with the 7hour flight. It's either one hour, or nothing at all.
John: Well we'll just bring Paris to you zen. darling.
Magically snaps his freshly done nails and shits out the Eiffel Tower
Me: FOR ME JOHN! YOU SHOULDNT HAVE

we could talk or not talk, and still find things to not talk about. As I hover over his 5 foot nothing stature. Saying "HUh" what was that you said? Sorry the elevation from your 57" heels make it hard to hear.
Seriously though. I feel like we could click like carbon bonds.
Maybe one day. If not, thats cool. My hooya thinks i'm cool

(HOOYA = MOMS IN soMALi)

I'm trying to connect with my Somali roots. So i've picked up buccaneering, driving stolen Saudi yachts and also I have extensively studied Iman's career.
No seriously, as i live it up on the dutch side I feel the need to reconnect with my East African people. I met an 8 year old today and homegirl had 6 languages under her Osh Kosh belt. It made me feel like I was lagging behind.
HERE I AM GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS.
my cousin tells me I have a mean Canadian accent when I speak. What can I say? I've lived in the land of the maple tree and constant Eh? for so long it's touched my East African tongue.
Maybe I'll take up a career as the Somali Dora the Explorer
but instead I'll be Ayan the Al-Shabib leader taking kids down the war torn streets of Mogadishu
as they learn Somali. as my cousin Farah drives around in his 1987 Land Rover.

Today's lesson kids.
halkan-here
iska waraan-how are you?
hayso-have
haamri-beer
maalintii-per day

borso- purse

tHIS is the Somali cat appareently they are the Christian Louboutins of the cat world. No joke. My orange tabby is saving up his pennies to one day become like one of these bad boys. My dad says there are no biggie based on the fact they run around rampant on my countries once beautiful streets. So, if you need a quick buck and own an Ak-47. You may have a good career in collecting these bad boys and breeding them to women like her. They are probably ostracized by all the other cats and are constantly asked if they fur is real and if they are from Ethopia...no wait Eritrea. No wait i give up.
I heard they also like henna Qaat and eating moos(bananas) with their lasagnas and you know they dont mess with Purina. Nothing less than that organic ish.

i'M OFF like a prom dress
toottles