Records of the past

I can’t help but remember the days
Of tape players and VHS tapes.
My memory chooses to
Rummage through the past
Like it were my antiquated record collection
Where the past is as crisp as the sounds
Coming from the records it plays.
The further I head towards the future
The harder I long for the past

Can’t stop now, nowhere to go
Progress sees no limits
As the past shines through
My gold tinted Gucci shades.
Won’t stop now, regardless of
How hard I try.

The mysteries of time
Weigh heavily on my
Conscious thoughts sorted out
within my mental rolodex
Can’t Stop now, nowhere to go.


8 question marks

Is it better to say something or nothing at all?
Should we hide from the truth or run towards it?
Will each lie bring us closer or further from where we want to go?
Will these questions ever cease to replay within my mind?
When?
Who?
What?
Where?

30 SECONDS

Your eyes scan the room
As you ponder
Who will quench
Your thirst tonight?
The bright lights
Bring out your insecurities
Exposing your scars
Along with
Your fears
And your dirty desires

30 SECONDS (remix)

Your eyes scan the room
Exposing your dirty desires
The bright lights along with your insecurities
Brighten out your scars

Such Is Life

The hidden beauties
Within the grotesque
The ambitious aspirations
Were forced to fade
As we came to realize
An undeniable reality
Of this rollercoaster ride
Filled with highs, lows
And something in between
All the while
The butterflies
Flutter from within
As the time passes
as we wait
For this ride to end

SUNday kind of love

SONG OF THE MOMENT: I want to be loved-Etta James

If any day of the week were to be a jazz song perhaps it would be Sunday?
It's low,calm notes can at times mirror a lovely composed jazz song. Today was quite relaxing and light. I woke up from my slumber, probably resembling a monster from the depths of your nightmares. I was devoid of a beautiful just awoken glow, probably because I couldn't get to sleep last night. Time flew by as my thoughts got the best of me as they played within my imagination. Three o'clock easily became four o'clock. Before this I visited a friends place who happened to move one block down from me and was having some people over. Chatting and laughter went down. They were heading out for dinner, so i decided to join the flock.
All the while, my inner shutterbug decided to make a cameo into the night. Everything/anything was appropriate subject matter for my camera's lens. My ambitions led me to losing my friends somewhere between Roy and Duluth. I mistakenly forgot to ask "hey guys what restaurant are we going to". I attempted for a couple of minutes to find the darken silhouettes of my friends but it was all to no avail. I decided to continue on my shutterbug frenzy and walked from Duluth to St.Urbain just snapping away until my fingers got cold.
Before this little fun misadventure I discovered a cute little boulangerie in the village, it was cozy and small and they played the lovely Nina Simone and Etta James. This has now placed a sudden need to listen to etta james on repeat. over and over again.
Ok so back today. It's funny how life can sometimes exist within a cyclical path. My sisters and I decided to hit up our favourite greasy spoon diner. Something I craved from St. Maarten. We strolled down the street taking our time as if the place did not close at 4pm. We arrived and were seated in the back right beside the toilets, a delicious place to be seated as you eat breakfast, if i may say so myself. Anyways as we were being reseated I thought I saw a familiar face. His back was quickly turned to me before I had a chance to catch a second glimse. I decided to preoccupy myself with important things like my menu. Time passed as we chatted it up and joked about the hot mess of a Def Leppard wanna-be that was seated behind us. My familiar stranger walked out from behind the backroom and low and behold it was my high school crush. Time was quite kind to him and he looked good. I myself was too shy to say something so instead I played with that idea in my mind of how our conversation would go, as I allowed the moment to pass. After paying our bill, I walked up to his colleague/friend who wore a grey patch of hair like Holden Caufied. I shyly told his buddy who I was and that I said Hi and did not want to distract him. In the end I played the shy card. A card that I often use because it's soo comfortable.
We finished the day off by strolling to Parc Lafontaine and enjoyed the lovely muted colors of Autumn.
We watched Water earlier and it was a beautiful sight that portrayed a not soo beautiful story.
When the time is right I want to see the feast of colors that are in India.

THE JEMS OF MY SHUTTERBUG FRENZY

objectify yourself #1
objectify yourself #2

u,me and vivian westwood.
stairs at parc lafontaine #1
parc lafontaine #2
the squirrels diet.
rachel+st.laurent=l.o.v.e
greasy spoon

i am one big mosquito bite

red wine makes me not mind

oK

another night in paradise

my time here is slowly dwindling

in reality,

its not quite slow more like a light speed

blast

i can't believe 3 months have already past me by

ive accomplished my fair share of things,

socialize with peeps, mostly over the tender age of 50,

hit up some new islands some that i didn't know existed

mastered driving my mechanical chariot on the not so lovely

streets of st.maarten, the ways here are completely different.

Montreal driving looks calm and ordered compared to here

People often just stop in the middle of the road to catch up with

a friend they see walking on the street. There is often traffic for no apparent reason

I've also seen every shade under one sun here.

People be mixing like their name was Betty Crocker.

Im currently waiting for my platonic date warren to come pick me

up. As I was killing time I reduced myself to a 13year old girl crush

on mark ronson, he's dreamy.

i wouldnt mind waking up to that smile and passing a lazy saturday in bed with him........

Anyways, I'm sure finding the real thing will be as hard as finding a real Chanel bag at Zellers, and so I will attempt to find a good knock off but not one that has the two C C's from the logo facing each other, something thats close to the real thing but not of course.. The search begins. On to bigger and sexier things, n'est pas?

My life choices are currently in the washer being cycled out. I keep making one decision then it rinses out and becomes a new one. I'm anxious an indecisive not a good mix.

I will wait it out, i suppose, my sister who is often my rational side, told me today that its already written and the best part is waiting to reading whats to come (paraphrased)

im going out tonite, somehting that has become as rare as a syzygy.

Lets see what the full moon will bring me.

1.2.3

HERE WE

GO.

off into the wilderness of St. Maarten night life.

Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes- Walt Whitman